Memories

I recently added another cdh family member and she “liked” quite a few of the pictures of Fiona in the hospital. While it was great to look back at my daughter as she was so small and “new,” it also brought back many memories of the hospital, monitors, nurses, surgeries, cafeteria food, etc. I spent so much time wondering and praying that Fiona would live to experience so many things that life has to offer. Part of me dreamed of all the things we’d do together while the other part wondered how I would go on if I didn’t get to take her home. Everyday was a constant worry and I made myself sick many times.

However, now I look to my left and see a 5 month old girl lying on the floor, sucking on her fingers while talking up a storm and stopping often to laugh at her brother. She’s rolling onto her side, almost onto her stomach, and blows raspberries and bubbles. She poops out her diaper, up to her belly button, and loves to splash in the bath. She sneaks peeks at the tv and reminds us when we walked out of the room that we didn’t take her with us. She is my life, my love, my baby girl.

We are about to start a new chapter. The time has come when her ng tube comes out weekly, due to sneaky little fingers that come out of her sock when she pulls it off, and it was never meant to be in this long. While Fiona refuses to take anything from a bottle, she loves purées and to lick apples and oranges. But since breast milk will be her main source of nutrition until she’s a minimum of 1 year,  she needs a g-tube. It is still hard for me think about but doing it now is what’s best for her. So, we will be heading back to Seattle in a few weeks to see her favorite surgeon, Dr. Gow.

On the upside, Fiona is almost 17 lbs., and 25.5 inches. She is almost on straight breast milk (right now we mix with a little bit of formula) and we are starting to go longer periods at night with no food.

Tomorrow Fiona turns 5 months old and that also means that I have been pumping for 5 months. We never had success with nursing, and everyday it is a challenge to pump every four hours, but I know that breast milk is what is best for my little girl. It gives her the nutrients and antibodies that she needs to be healthy and strong and I refuse to stop before a year.

Thank you so much to all our readers for the support you’ve shown us. Your thoughts, prayers, well wishes, good vibes, and all that jazz is what means so much to us. It is in part to you that my baby girl is here today. Thank you!